Today, we celebrate the International Day Of The Girl Child. ASAP’s Youth Champions will be writing a series of articles on the barriers and challenges that young girls and women face in patriarchal societies. We will run this series for a week starting today.

We begin with Sarah Soysa (Sri Lanka), who in this work of creative non-fiction, tells true stories of women and girls she knows. This blog is also a series of edicts by which women are forced to define themselves, limit their potentials and restrict their lives. 

When I was in the primary class I wasn’t allowed to go out and cycle after 5 pm. But the boys could.

 “You are a girl, you shouldn’t be cycling in evenings!”

When I was in school I couldn’t go on a two day trip with my school friends.

 “Its two days too risky! You are a girl. Girls don’t stay out at night!”

All the boys in the class went on the trip! But I too loved traveling I want to be a traveler one day!

 ****

“You shouldn’t sit with your legs wide apart , you shouldn’t walk alone at night, you shouldn’t dance and jump too much, BEHAVE YOUSRSLEF!! Sit properly walk like a lady don’t make noises when you walk like bad women!!”

 My grand ma used to scream at me! I am a girl I am not supposed to behave like that!

  ****

I wanted to study engineering!

 “WHAT? You are a girl… study arts, study fashion designing, cookery, study literature, you can’t have a good family life being an engineer and you should have time for your family! Men like to marry teachers; they have more time to spend with their families!”

Now, I am a teacher!

  ****

I am studying for my bachelors and I was “ragged”.

 “Oh you slut you wear skirts above your knee? You want to get boys attracted to have sex with them? Remove your underwear and show it to us! You like showing it don’t you??”

 I was surrounded by a group of boys! And I was taught that boys have uncontrollable feelings and they could do anything they want. Unlike girls. I removed my underwear with tears!

 ****

I travel by bus. When I am seated, I always squeeze myself to a side and gave more space to the men who sit next to me in order to avoid getting touched or rubbed against.

 “You are a woman , men are bigger in size, they need more space, they sit the way they want. Girls shouldn’t sit with their legs wide apart. If they touch you it’s your fault you must have dressed something revealing or done something bad!”

  ****

I was going out with this guy when I was 26.

 “So… how many boy friends have you had?

Have you had sex? Don’t lie? Where did you have sex at?

So you know a lot about sex huh?

I don’t want to talk about my sexual relationships. I am a guy. We can do anything and have a bath and clean ourselves and come home! But you women are dirty!!”

  ****

It was my wedding night!

 “You whore you don’t bleed? How many men have you had sex with? This is a disgrace!! I am going to tell everybody and shame you! DIRTY FILTHY WOMAN!!”

  ****

My boyfriend masturbates looking at his friends! Men are like that! They can do those kinds of things thinking and looking at anybody they like!

 “Why have you liked this boy’s pictures on Facebook you dirty disgusting woman?? You are planning to sleep with him no? How disgusting you are!! I should have known better before dating someone like you! You should only look at my pictures and like my pictures not other men’s pictures!”

I stayed silent! He is a man he must be correct! I am a woman and should behave myself.

“Sorry baby I will never do that again!!”

 ****

I got married. He hits me everyday mentioning that I didn’t bleed on the first night! Even in front of our children. I can’t complain to the police.

 “Good women who love their families and who are respectable don’t give their problems out! “

I will bear this all up that’s what my mother did….

Sarah Soysa along with Dakshitha Wickremaratne, also started the new photo campaign “It’s Her Right.”