Our safe abortion hotlines are much more than just numbers: and the women they help and have helped out, are much more than just statistics. We bring to you this month, a beautiful story of strength and personal choice from the heart of Pakistan, where a woman enjoyed the rights inherent in her unhindered.

I am from the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province in Pakistan, and I am going to tell you my story today. I hope for my sisters around the world to be able to see the strength of personal choice in this, and to be able to understand how much value it has for a woman to be in control over her body and her own health needs.

I was born in 1982, after my mother had two miscarriages and had three children born with neural tube defects, before I was born. Therefore, when I was born and stayed alive, it was a cause for tremendous jubilation for my family. I had a wonderful life at the hands of my liberal parents, who brought me up as a human being and not as a second class citizen as many of my counterparts in this country have been treated as. My childhood was lovely, and even though I was an only child, my parents never made me feel lonely. I had the privilege of going to a good school, and to engaging myself with other children my age with regularity. In 2004, just after I turned 22, I wanted to study abroad, and my father ensured that I got to do that – so you can imagine how “with the times” my upbringing has been.

I was married in 2010 – at 28 – which I suppose is largely unheard of, especially since many girls are married off early. My parents’ siblings would pressure them to marry me off earlier because they believed that an unmarried girl in an advanced age might be written off as a has-been. I won’t blame them for the things they said, because they were not as liberal as my parents were – but their thinking did put a lot of spokes in the wheel of a peaceful living when I was younger. Nevertheless in about a year and a half after I got married, I got pregnant. Sadly, there was a detection of a neural tube defect in the baby, and later, I was told that an amniotic band that had wrapped itself around the foetus – and my first born baby was not born alive. I cannot begin to tell you the trauma I faced after carrying the child to a full term, only to realise that it could not live.

In a few months’ time, I got pregnant again. Maybe it was prudence on my side or just a sense of worry – but I was very jumpy and worried, and did not want the same thing to happen. My mother remained in a state of worry about how this was history all over again. Within the first couple of weeks, it became apparent in the gastrulation stage (3^rd week of pregnancy) that the dorsal side of the foetus had begun to change its shape, forming the neural tube – but the tube did not close completely. If born, the foetus would have one too many complications, and I didn’t want to carry the baby to a full term to be disappointed again. I made many trips to hospitals and nursing homes that were not friendly to my cause – claiming that there was no guarantee that this was a pregnancy disparaging to my mental health. My husband, father and mother were extremely supportive of my needs – but we decided not to tell anyone beyond the three of us – especially my relatives and my husband’s family, since they might not have taken it the right way.

A friend of ours then mentioned an organisation called Aware Girls that had been involved in launching an abortion hotline – where advice and guidance was available for free, on the use of a drug called misoprostol. I followed their advice – I still remember the voice of the lady who spoke to me on the phone – it was so angelic, so kind, that I had tears in my eyes by the time I finished the conversation. She did not judge me, she did not tell me anything that made me feel like I was a wrongdoer – it was just so beautiful that she chose to encourage me and celebrated my autonomy and the empowered state I have over my body. I followed what she told me, and I was able to stand by the decision I chose in the interest of my body.

Within a few months, my cousin became pregnant – and her foetus had some complications too. I don’t know what made her approach us, but I suppose knowing that I had liberal parents might have made her take us into confidence. We suggested a similar trajectory for her – and she also availed the help of the hotline.

My right as a woman stems from the primary fact that I am a human. I am not a reproducing machine – and I have the right over my mind and my body. What I am most thankful for is a platform like these hotlines, and parents and a husband like mine – for liberal thinking is really the most important enabler for the rightful enjoyment of freedom.